5.27.2005
remember vague desires to be an interior decorator,
anthropologist or archaeologist, but no real idea how
one got involved with these fields.
In High School, I was one of the "drama club" kids. I
did well enough on the standardized tests to make the
teachers sigh over how I didn't "apply myself" in
class. I had a passion for photography, teaching
myself camera and darkroom skills and I wanted to take
auto shop, masonry and print class, but was
discouraged because those were "vocational" subjects.
As a child of the upper middle class, I was on the
college track, and blue-collar jobs were not for me.
My parents, although supportive, never provided any
guidance about what they wanted me to be, or how to
find out what I might do in the world. I remember
asking for help. Whenever the conversation came up
they'd say "do whatever you want, we just want you to
be happy." There also was a strong unspoken
undercurrent that whatever I did, it would involve a
husband and babies.
When it came time to choose a school and an area of
study, I worried about not having a calling, but my
professors and many other adults I respected pitched
the benefits of a liberal arts education, so I studied
sciences and arts, eventually graduating with a dual
degree in arts and environmental studies.
So, here I am in my 40's, with a 20-year career in the
computer industry (that's nice and vague right?)
having worked for some very ineresting companies, on
some very interesting projects with some very
interesting people. Why don't I have any pride in what
I've done? Perhaps becuase I never intended to end up
here, doing what I do.
Recently, I've tried to find a way to shift my
identity from what I DO to what I AM I indulge my
creative side by sewing, cooking and drawing. I take
care of my body with yoga and dance. I spend time with
the people who give me energy rather than drain it.
Mostly, it is working and I am more content.
3.03.2005
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11.15.2004
MSN today has an article about Wal-Mart's domination of the marketplace with frightening echoes of the "company store" of migrant farmer days. Another hint that we're heading for a world of the ultra rich and debtors?
The superstore has been trying to get into banking for five years, but its efforts to buy banks in California, Oklahoma and Canada were thwarted by regulators. Wal-Mart has a ready-made market at hand: 20% of the 100 million customers that come through its doors weekly don't have bank accounts. The chain already offers financial services such as check cashing, bill payment and money orders, and it boasts 28 Wal-Mart Money Centers, which are operated by SunTrust Banks, as well as hundreds of other in-store bank branches. The company says it has no plans to get into retail banking, but industry sources say Wal-Mart is still pushing this agenda quietly and is expected to take another run at banking again.
